I am always running out of time. Trying to get away from hurry and worry.
Hurry is the currency of productivity. I race to accomplish as much as I can in a day. However, the older I get, the less I like the chase. Lately, I’d rather say no to appointments and opportunities and shout yes to wide margins that make room for rest and reflection.
Why is it so hard to not be busy?
Worry has always been a part of my life. It operates on the battlefield of past mistakes and future hazards; a skirmish between if only and what if. My mind tries to battle it out. You’ll find my heart there in the middle, wounded in the cross-fire.
Why do I engage in the struggle?
Imagine the miracle of suspending the flood of bullets, as Neo does in the Matrix. When slow motion is an option, I’m all over it! Outside of time, I drink in this sublime sip of wine.
A Lovely Here and Now
When I’m not careful, Time sweeps me up on her wide lap and tells me gruesome stories of the past. As I try to escape her grip, she squeezes my wrist and whispers the worst is yet to come.
I have occasionally escaped into the enchanted forest of Timelessness where I rest my head on the mossy feet of wise old trees. They speak the language of long, slow exhalations. They tell the stories of feathers and feet that whisper by when stillness lingers. I believe in this moment.
Is it too good to be true?
My Place Apart
Actually, my enchanted spot is the plastic Adirondack chair on my mossy lawn. A full array of cushions for my comfort, feet bare to the earth, I breathe long and deep.
I listen for the small voices of birds and bugs that tell me to be mindfully present. I toss my to-do‘s to the wind and let the weather dictate my schedule.
Wasn’t it a lucky wind that swept my list away
I like lists and schedules. They keep me sane. They capture part of the swirling cloud of “musts” and “shoulds,” keeping it in a safe place lest I lose my mind. Yet, lists and schedules tend to paralyze me, leaving no wiggle room for the muses to come and play.
Being Productive
When writing this song, I sat at my piano and experimented with a kind of cyclical melody. I wanted it to feel like a soap bubble blooming from a child’s wand into the calm. Barely a breeze as it lifts and tilts and floats up and out of sight. A quiet meditation, an open-mouthed gape.
I asked my son, Julian, to produce this and the other new songs I had written. He said yes! so I sent him my rough demos. They were recordings of me plodding through the chords on my piano while singing into my smartphone. Not very inspiring.
It’s a tricky business for a producer to dig out and polish the gems his artist assures him are there. Julian found mine and some extras of his own. He helped create a project I am proud to call ours. (He also dealt well with Mom-as-Artist and Mom-as-Mom.)
Visit my YouTube channel to see some of our fun exchanges. 
It’s About Time
Julian has been making music since he was a few years old. Growing up in studios and on the road, he didn’t have much choice. Jules, as we call him, has developed his talent by playing in lots of bands and also writing and recording his own music. He graced my songs with his years of musical experience and the innate sensibilities that words cannot capture. Only his artistry does.
Notice the very cool rhythms and counter-melodies he wove into the music. He played and programmed everything on the recordings, too. You’ll also hear his voice in some of the backing vocals.
In Running Out of Time, Julian took the time to create the wide musical spaces of breathless suspense. Makes me want to go and live in the moment for a while.
Read more stories about our recording process here: New Music & the recording process
Read more about the new songs here: Closer to Free and See Through Me
Buy the digital 5- song EP Closer To Free here or on Amazon or listen to it on Spotify!
Thanks for bringing up this topic. I don’t hurry but I do worry a lot about timing. As you suggest, I keep a 3-week schedule of upcoming tasks/events which I update every day. It helps me to not forget things, prioritize them, and put them off until the time comes for something to happen. I hope you are not totally stressed out about handling your timing!
Yes, Jim, the long list of tasks is friend and taskmaster to me. But I’m getting better at being the boss of it!
When the “hurry” happens, it could occur as a result of mismanagement of time, or a lapse in remembering to do one task then having to multi-task within the same time. Even when we plan or schedule our day ahead, we find unexpected events which cause us to stress. It’s inevitable that these are part of life. It may not necessarily be meant for us to escape, but may be put there as a learning tool. God is in control and He directs our paths. He is always with us and wants us to lean on Him as Prince of Peace to navigate us through those turbulent times – to find Shelter in the storm. Granted, He does give us respite for times of refreshing as well.
Thanks for commenting, Mitchell! I am always grateful for a new perspective. I find that I have a hard time “seeing” anything when caught up in the have-to’s of my day.
The thing about “worry” I have found is that the older you get, the more things there may be in life to worry about. When I was a young child, I had nothing to worry about. I had assurance that my parents had every provision for me – love, food, clothing, and a roof over my head. My Mom took me to see the movie “The Jungle Book”. The song “Look for the bare necessities” was reminding me to forget about my worries and my strife. I didn’t even experience back then anything which would worry me. But now that God counts the grey hairs on my head, I’m reminded by His Word that He gives me even more of His love and the assurance that He knows what I need.
This really summed up how I feel right now. Too much to do and the need to prioritise. I feel the same way about doing less and smelling the roses on the way rather than rushing by in haste and missing the good stuff. A very inspiring article. I love the comment above about “the bare necessities” and found the story of how Julian helped you record new music heart warming. Isn’t having children who can help you with stuff such a blessing!
Yes, Ian, it is a blessing to get help from our kids now. : ) Thanks for reading and commenting!
my life is hurried…I have bi polar disorder and part of that is the mania…Mania is not so bad when there are chores to do, or errands to run, or if you are on a deadline…but the crash after is unbearable and leads me into a depression…
I try not to hurry and worry…my home is very fast paced and worrisome with a dad who is ill and mom and I taking care of him…I have to literally say out loud to myself, “slow down…take care of you”…then I thank God when it works out in my favor…God is a big part of my life I would not be able to survive with out him…love your articles…peace to you and your family.
Elise, thanks for your story and your blessing! May you find His peace in each moment as it unfolds : )