Finding Freedom In Confinement

finding freedom in confinement

Are you finding new freedom in this self-imposed confinement?

Living With Limitations

Social distancing and sheltering in place in the time of Coronavirus have created a unique situation for many of us.

For example, a friend who lives alone is now working from home. This could double the loneliness for her, but at least she can spend more time outside in her yard. And she’s finding ways to connect with friends at a distance. I’ll be seeing her face when we talk via screens this weekend.

finding freedom in confinement

I know an older couple in my neighborhood who thrive on shopping and dining out. They will suffer from cabin fever, no doubt. But the neighbors are checking up on them through calls and texts, keeping tabs without touch.

My default mode is homebody. Staying put to avoid contaminating crowds isn’t much of a hardship. Walking in the small creek behind our home is as good as going dancing for me.

However, my husband, Scott, and I have a baby grandson and a daughter and son-in-law who are expecting in June. Should we stay away from them? We adults are trying to decide if full quarantine is smarter than the less extreme social distancing we are practicing. Can we actually keep from seeing and hugging family members? Some unfortunate people are truly cut off from their families. They are choosing this for safety or because someone is sick with this invisible, insidious virus.

The new limitations and tough choices are shocking.

Sudden Seclusion

One of my greatest fears is being disconnected from my family. The horrors of history tell of those who’ve suffered in gulags and POW camps. I do not linger long with thoughts of solitary confinement. The idea of forced isolation, alone with no husband, no kids or grandchildren, makes me ask, “How would I fare; would I find a way to be free inside a cell?”

If I had access to books, I would be free to read, read, read. With pen and paper, I could write, free of distraction. But without family interactions, could I survive through meditation or cogitation? Or die a slow death in lonely rumination?

I guess I’ll never be locked up in solitary. But I’m feeling the walls closing in. What do the walls of my home offer that I haven’t grasped? From those whose worries are weightier, I ask, “Are you finding any freedom in this sudden seclusion?”

Chance for Change

finding freedom

Our limited choices, whether chosen or thrust upon us, magnify our chances for positive transformation.

Obviously, no one looks for change by putting on chains. But when we find our wrists shackled by circumstance, we naturally crane our necks for different ways to move, to live, to be. For some people, the challenge is discombobulating. For others, this season is downright earth-shattering. Yet, it’s an opportunity for all to discover freedom within our confines. Our physical, mental, and emotional health depend on our healthy response to this stress.
Here’s what I’m thinking:

I Am Finding Freedom From…

  1. Choice. Choice can be overwhelming. Like a restaurant with a ten-page menu, my lengthy to-do list is more of a menace more than a blessing. Self-employed people, such as Scott and I, wake each morning to a bottomless pit of a list. Or an agonizingly blank slate. Either way, we start from scratch each day. I have been enjoying the simple menu of fewer choices.
  2. Worries. When the bigger story concerns a killer microbe, I worry less about writing perfect prose or if I should exercise more.
  3. Myself. Okay, it may be a stretch, but I am free to forget my face for a while. My body, my clothes, the pimple on my nose. Who cares? Yes, many working people are video-conferencing and Face-Timing and Insta-gramming like crazy. But lots of us can just stay in our jammies. Skip the mirror and quit the navel-gazing for a minute.

I Am Finding Freedom For…

  1. Creativity. More reading, more writing, yay!
  2. Thinking or not thinking. Quiet sitting or a slow walk are no longer a waste of time. I’ve got lots. Like today: I haven’t accomplished any tasks except trying to write these ideas about freedom. It’s rather liberating.
  3. Being Present. No outside events call to me. I’m not missing anything because nothing is happening. I am here. Now. In the moment in which I am.

Are You Finding Freedom To…

  1. Connect with your kids more? Your spouse?
  2. Let go of a busy schedule?
  3. Be thankful for what you have?
  4. Share with others who are suffering more than you?

People suffer without human interaction. This virus crisis amplifies our discomfort. The current limits on our ways of life have added countless new stresses. I suspect, though, we will unearth certain blessings in this mess. What freedoms have you come up with in confinement?

For more thoughts on health, read: 3 Creative Ways to Move Toward Emotional Health

 

The Distance: A Song About Change

change: going the distance

for Julian upon his high school graduation in 2010, from Mom

from the Out of the Grey project, A Little Light Left

The sun sets as we drive the Trace

I’ll never forget this side of your face

It’s not the same as it was

So much has changed since I met you

 

We can’t always connect what’s between us now

And these silent stretches are longer somehow

We turn the music way up loud

And wonder what the song’s about

 

And the music spans the distance

It’s our transatlanticism

 

C’mon, let’s drive along singing the same songs

Hear the wheels hum with our harmonies

Remember these, please

When you go on without me

 

Cos, yeah, we always go together now

But I know what I know: soon I’ll slow you down

Yeah, the time will come when I can’t keep up

And you’ll go on without me

 

Let the music span the distance

Of our transatlanticism

 

There’s a deer standing on the side of the road

So we stop to stare but she starts to go

She’s just so scared of what she doesn’t know

So many dangers on the road

 

Now we’re staring at that last bridge

And it feels like the Atlantic

Let the music span the distance

When you go on without me

Read the story behind this song in “Change: Going the Distance”

Tell Your Story: Song Lyrics

Tell Your Story

by Christine Dente from Out of the Grey: “6.1”

Round and round the thoughts keep coming
Through your head like water running
‘Til the sink begins to overflow
So you run to shut it off
Pull the plug, forget it all
But the tears leave stains upon the floor

Everybody’s got a story
I’ve got mine and you’ve got yours
I will listen if you let me in
Everybody’s got a secret sadness
That they cannot keep
Inside forever, let its strength dispel
Tell your story

Find a friend for your confession
Trusted one who loves you well
Even when he’s seen the underside
And go to Jesus, perfect priest
Who knows our weakness and our fear
Sinners, victims, seems that we are all

Everybody’s got a story
I’ve got mine and you’ve got yours
I will listen if you let me in
Everybody’s got a secret sadness
That they cannot keep
Inside forever, let its strength dispel
Tell your story

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